It started like this...
"Hey, I don't have anyone else to share this with and I hope you don't mind me telling you this. I have a boyfriend, whom I first known as a friend until he tried to win me over, and he did so we are now in a relationship. Our relationship are still new as it only has started since few months ago, and I still have doubts. My boyfriend was the one who approached me first, with all the promises he gave me, the support and effort for me. But I'm still worried. Days ago, I had a dream, which consider as a nightmare for me because in that dream, I saw no one, but then I saw a hand holding his phone. As the fingers runs through the phone, it then opened all his social accounts like WhatsApp and Twitter. I was still confused with the message of that dream. The fingers then opened up all the text in his WhatsApp's account and his Twitter's direct messages, my heart ache real bad when I saw what contains in it, but then the dream switched off as I woke up from my sleep. The feeling I had hurt me so much that I felt like I need to find out about it. So the time comes when we both finally meet. I realized that everytime we met, I rarely used my phone while he's always with his. I got insecured and aching feeling. This time, he had a tournament going on so I decided to check on his phone while he's busy. Guess what? I checked his Twitter first and found that there are few direct messages with girls (I ease myself thinking that they're just friends). The first conversation I opened, he started the conversation by asking if the girl still has his phone number, when the girl said 'no', he then gave out his number to her asking her to text him. The second one, also the conversation started by him, they had a normal conversation at first, and then again he asked if she still has his phone number, and also again, he gave out his phone number. I thought about reading all the other conversations he had with other girls, but just by reading those two conversations, it already hurts me like hell! My eyes were teary when I looked at him and he gave me a wide smile and I was thinking, "How could someone do something like this and still be cheerful like it never happened?", I then went to the toilet and actually cried a little. I wanted to talk to him about this but then I'm afraid of his answers. You know that I had few previous relationships that really hurt me. If you were me, what would you do? I can't stop myself from thinking that I shouldn't trust him in 100%, and that hurts me because I want to trust him. I know it's my fault too for going through his phone without his permission, but I need answers, I want answers! I even thought of changing my number as I don't wanna any strangers to know my number anymore or that some guys who wants to contact me. I stopped replying to most guys now except the ones who are my classmates or the ones who are close to me. What should I do now? Help me..."
Wanna know what I think about this problem? It'll be on my next post.
Xoxo,
Ayleeya
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